Sometimes, I stop in the middle of my hall, or a doorway, or just lean back in my chair and wonder what I'm going to do next. What I want to do next. I could watch another movie on my computer, another downloaded television show to audio book. I could play another game of backgammon with some stranger from elsewhere in the country. I could eat or just go to bed.
I did a lot of that wondering the last couple of days. I could have done a lot of things, but didn't want to do any of them and didn't really want to do what I ended up doing which was watching another movie on the computer, another downloaded television show, eating a snack or two and sleepingl ong enough to foul up my body schedule.
Sometimes, I just get tired and want to chuck it all. I'm not doing what I really want to do and the problem is, I don't really know what that is. Whatever I'm doing now isn't enough, isn't where I want to be, but because of past choices, I'm stuck.
The list of responsibilities hit me a couple of hours ago when I realized I hadn't done laundry or posted the weekly blog. Taekwondo duties and work duties and writing duties can wait until later. The last couple of days I just felt like being alone to do what I wanted to do...and I couldn't even decide what that was. Ironic, no?
So, Monday rolls around and it's back to taekwondo classes and work and writing. Hopefully, my latest venture with Echelon Press will start soon and I'll let you know the details later.
Part of what kept me inside most of the weekend was the weather. Spring has spring and I'm grateful, but with spring comes the rain and we had it around here. Plus, spring's warm temps haven't quite gotten the staying power yet, especially at night.
I have next weekend off, also.
Wonder what I'll do.