Thank You

I'll admit it. I'm not comfortable saying thanks. I receive a compliment or a present and I have a difficult time just saying thanks. I don't know why.
It's just me. I mean it but sometimes it's difficult for me to express it.

We've all seen the email about giving thanks even though we complain about our own personal situations. You know the one I mean. I get it forwarded to me every year by at least one of my family members or friends. I'm bored with my job but am thankful for it because there are so many unemployed. My house is a mess and the landlord is a jerk but I'm thankful because many people don't have a home. My car is eleven years old but many people don't have cars. I have bills stacked up and drowning in debt but am thankful for the money I receive from working to chip away at the stack because there are people worse off. I don't have much to eat and not sure what I'll scrounge up for dinner but thankful for the little bit of food I have because there are those who really don't know from where their next meal is coming.

Or how about the email about parents. Surely, you've seen this one. The one about how my parents are rotten people because they gave me a curfew and didn't let me party all night when I was in school. They were rotten because they didn't let me stay home all day but made me go to school to get an education. They were rotten because they disciplined me when I committed acts of disrespect or was a complete brat.

I sort of like those emails. I read them and I appreciate them. Also, I get the emails about friendship and where I'm supposed to send the email back to the sender to express my friendship. I never do. Not because these people aren't cherished, but because I'm just not that good at doing those things.

This Thanksgiving what did I do? Did I spend the day enjoying family and a fine meal? No. I worked. I worked Wednesday night and Thursday I spent a couple of hours with a few friends and a fine meal. Then I slept for eight hours before I went back to work. Tomorrow, I spend the day with family and another fine meal. That's it. No shopping, no being one of the mob waiting in line for Black Friday. Just a quiet day with a few friends and my cat who couldn't care less about the holiday.

I'm sitting here at work bored out of my mind. I haven't seen a single person since the second shift person left. I've watched mindless television and read chapters out of the latest in the never ending stack of books I own. I've printed out the required reports that I really didn't need to print. But that's another story and I don't wish to throw around trash talk about work. Because I'm thankful to be indoors all night long as a few feet away there is cold and wind and if I weren't here, others would have to sacrifice their time or I would be home wondering where to go for my next paycheck.

No, I don't have much. My apartment is small and the apartment house is an eyesore. But it's home and a place where my cat is comfortable and happy. I don't have much money, but somehow I get by even if it is one paycheck to the next and somehow I'm able to buy food for my next meal. I don't have much of a social life and I don't remember the last time I went out on a date. But I have friends I talk to every week either on the phone or through email. And I'm thankful they consider me a friend. I'm not a world leader or a person with a lot of influence on the masses, but I have my small circle of loyal students who look to me for guidance and discipline and training. And I have made a happy life for a furry companion who wants only a little food and water, a regular treat and an occasional belly rub.

And I'm thankful for every person who allows me into his or her life through my books. All of those who granted me interviews, allowed me to sit on a panel at a conference or event, or to give a talk or be part of a discussion. And I don't care how popular or famous I become, I will always thank every person who takes the time to purchase my books.

I don't say thanks all that often and it's difficult, but I mean it just the same. I hope you understand.